my perfect plans

ever since I was little, one of my greatest dreams was to have a family of my own. In fact, when I was about 10 or so, my plan was to have 56 children... one for each letter of the alphabet, both a boy and a girl. when I was in high school, I was totally certain that when I graduated prince charming would show up on my doorstep, sweep me off my feet, and by the time I was 23 or so I would have 2-3 adorable children, a perfect marriage, a charming house, and I would be perfectly content.

If anyone would have told me that I would be 20 7/8 years old, still single and living at home, I most likely wouldn't have believed you... but here I am! Heavenly Father had (and still does have) SO much work that needed to be done on me, and frankly I am not quite sure that I would've been ready to get married at 17.

Throughout the years, I have grown so much in my desire and dreams for my future. In my patriarchal blessing there is a tiny little paragraph about my future family, and I have just poured over it trying to understand every little word. That little paragraph has worked wonders in my life. One little part of it talks about a desiring a companion... that little word has changed my life!!

Over the years I have come to realize that I didn't desire a companion... I just wanted a family and all the fixings... babies, laundry, cooking, etc., but a husband didn't matter that much. But as I have grown older (and hopefully wiser!) I have come to realize that the one thing that I want more than anything (except eternal life) is a companion! I want someone who is my very best friend and I his! As I looked back and wondered why in the world I had such a strange perspective, I came to realize that in all the couples in my life, as great as their marriages were... they weren't necessarily companions and best friends. Through the past 2 years I have met some wonderful ladies whose husbands are their very best friends. One couple in particular is so cute to watch... they so obviously love each other, and I love spending time at their home!

as I look back over the years, I am beyond grateful that Heavenly Father didn't answer my prayers for my perfect plan to come to pass. He has a perfect plan for me, and it is beyond anything I could ever dream up! The past two years have been incredible years for me... and what if God had answered my prayers?? I would have been lacking a huge part of who I have become!!

I am so thankful for a God who answers prayers,
but also sees fit to not answer sometimes!!