this blog is going to be taking a LONG break...
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INDIANA ADVENTURE

passionate homemaking giveaway!

Over at Passionate Homemaking (one of my favorite natural living blogs) Lindsay is having a giveaway for SOAP NUTS! We're really into alternative anything and I have always wanted to try these out!!

Hop on over to passionatehomemaking.com to enter her contest and read about this amazing alternative to laundry soap!! :)

our prayers are answered!!!!! :)

Well, I probably had a couple of people (if anyone reads this blog) wondering what in the world had happened to us with the previous post of "please pray for us!". Yesterday we finally got our answer and all is well!!!

When our first goat had her c-section, we had her blood drawn to test and see if she had CAE (CAPRINE ARTHRITIS ENCEPHALITIS - a goat disease they can die from). We took the other goats in later to have them tested as well, and a couple of days later we got a call from the vet... He didn't tell us if they had CAE, but he told us that all of their results had come back positive for BRUCELLOSIS, and a USDA person was coming to our house to give them all another test. Our state is free from this disease (commonly referred to as BANG'S disease) and we certainly didn't want to be the ones that brought it here.

What happens with Bang's disease is that you have to slaughter your entire herd of animals, and the really horrible thing is that it can be transmitted to humans and it is an incurable disease!!!!! We have a lot of money put into our 11 goats, and we are certainly attached to them, we were all heartbroken when we heard the news, and started praying super hard!!!

I really didn't want to end up killing them, and I REALLY didn't want to end up with a incurable disease right before I left on my mission... like I said before... I don't that I've ever prayed harder in my life!! Well, we just got our test results back yesterday, and they were all negative!!!!! I learned a very valuable lesson through this: when we doubt, faith leaves... but when we push doubt out and allow faith to rule our actions... MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN!!!

the life of an (absent minded) chef

today I experimented making cheddar cheese muffins. The recipe sounded divine with ingredients of yogurt, cheese, honey, whole grains... yum... I just had to make them. I thought they turned out pretty good, a little on the blah side, but of course... no recipe is really ever complete. The next batch is going to have more yogurt, a little less honey, more cheese, some fresh chives and a dash or our favorite seasoning SPIKE. I'm excited to try it!

That's the good side in the life of a chef...

but the other is sad indeed.

I had typed up this recipe for my cookbook that is going to be printed soon (i'm praying!), and I was doing a test run and ended up with muffin dough the consistency of cookies... not usual at all!! So I got the original recipe and found out that I had added an extra cup of flour and missed an entire teaspoon of baking powder, and to make a long story short I ended up making a double batch. The first batch turned out nice and golden brown. BUT... this absent minded chef turned off the stove and put the second batch in. 15 minutes later I was thinking they looked a little doughy and realized much to my chagrin that I had turned the oven off! I turned it back on and set the timer for 10 minutes only to come in and realize that I had totally and completely burned them!! SO... they went to the garbage disposal (aka CHICKENS - who LOVED them).

the saddest part is yet to come... the first person to try them was my youngest sister who informed me that they were GROSS. my dad said that they were really blah (with a disgusted face) and another sister (who shall remain nameless) said the following "the apple muffins you made weren't that good, and these are worse".... ohhh, pierced to the soul!

we've got 7-10 days...

...to pray for a miracle!
I can't give you particulars now, but I certainly will once it's all over. The past couple of days I've prayed harder than I think I ever have in the past. And I'm learning so much about what a faulty person I am! Just when I think my faith is super strong, it gets tested... and I learn how weak it is, and how much room I have for improvement.

So, please, if you could... please pray a few prayers in our behalf and pray for a miracle!!!

i've been poisoned

where it all started...
(be sure to read to the end, that's when it gets interesting! ;)

Whew, what a weekend! One of our goats, Padme, went into labor on Friday, but after 24 hours of it, we decided that something wasn't right, and we took her to the vet. After 2-3 intense hours of pulling and pushing and 1 c-section later... we ended up with 2 adorable babies who we've named Luke and Leia. The reason that Padme was having such a hard time is because there was an extremely deformed baby that was stuck in the birth canal, and there was no way that he could have gotten out since he was the size of a medium dog (no wonder Padme was so huge!). He was born dead, and had one eye, a cleft palate, bumps all over his body and no hair on his belly... and... well, I'll spare you the gruesome details. :) Watching the birth was amazing and reminded of my lifelong passion to become a midwife... birth is the most awesome thing ever!!!

well, now on to the explanation of how I got poisoned... it really does tie into the above story, I promise you.

Since Padme had a C-section, we have to bottle feed the babies which has been SO much fun, yet tiring... they choose the most inconvenient times to eat (like 1 in the morning!). SO anyway, Padme's milk isn't fit for human consumption, but we have to feed the babies it and they are perfectly fine to eat it. WELL... someone forgot to label the bottle of Padme's milk in the crazy morning we had with everyone going 3 different directions... AND well, that when this story get's interesting...

I was eating some cookies today, and the only way to eat newman-o's (organic oreos) is dipped in milk of course! So I searched all over the fridge and found a partially filled bottle of milk in the back. I thoroughly enjoyed my cookies and when my younger sister asked where the cow's milk was, I assured her that it was on the top shelf, right where I had left it. About an hour later another sister came in and asked who had used the goat's milk (contaminated, might I remind you). I ran into tell my sister (who was sleeping) that we had better reserve our plots at our local cemetery... because we'd been poisoned!!! My mom hurried and called the vet to see if we were near to death. She was sitting there on the couch, and Mac. and I (partners in crime) were sitting awaiting our fate. She sat there and said "oh dear" and then went into another room to speak in private. Come to find out, the milk was full of tranquilizers from Padme's C-section. Since I lived to tell this tale, you can tell that my drink wasn't fatal... BUT the funny thing is that the tranquilizers still had effect, and my right arm, cheek and tongue went to sleep and I felt like I had just been to the dentist for a root canal (not that I've ever had one though).

It certainly made for a day full of laughs... I'm pretty sure that my family will never let me live this down. Hope that this story made you smile, and maybe even laugh out loud... it still makes me giggle!

i have a bad case of...

...SPEAKING DYSLEXIA!!!

You know when you get your words mixed up and they come out all wrong? Well, that happens to me all the time! Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and I was trying to say that I would get it all done in one fell swoop, but it came out backwards as "ONE SWELL FOOP!" Then today I was looking at my sister's books and she was telling me about her Shakespeare book, and I said that I had a complete works of "SPAKESPEARE" book! The funniest one yet is one time I was trying to tell the above mentioned sister something about tall, dark and handsome people (I REALLY don't remember what in the world we were talking about!), and tall, dark, and handsome came out as "CHARK DAHL". It's rather frustrating to have the aforementioned disease, but at least it makes us laugh!!

BTW, did you know that people who have dyslexia (and have sort of overcome it) are really fast readers? I have a slight case of it and can read books really fast... BUT, my brother (who had a little more severe case) is the fastest reader in the world! He swallows books whole! Alas, the only downfall is that when you're reading out loud (or trying to speak sensibly) it comes out all screwy and backwards!! Have a terrific Tuesday!!! :)

one of those days ;(

today was just one of those days... i was late for class (my least favorite class), and you can't afford to miss one minute of it, because you get so far behind. THEN, just before class ended, we got our tests back from last week. I about fell over!! I FAILED!!?!? How is that possible? I've NEVER even really come close to failing before! I went into my practice room, and cried for a second, but then I decided that there is no use in bawling over a failed test. I still have 1 more week of classes, and then a final that I need to pass! I need to get practicing my aural skills so I don't fail that class!! After that brief moment of sadness, I opened my scriptures which I happened to have with me, and found the following quote. It really blessed me, and I hope that it blesses you too!!!

" The wounds in his hands, feet and side are signs that in mortality painful things happen even to the pure and the perfect, signs that tribulation is not evidence tat God does not love us. It is a significant and hopeful fact that it is the wounded Christ who comes to our rescue. He who bears the scars of sacrifice, the lesions of love, the emblems of humility and forgiveness is the Captain of our Soul. That evidence of pain in mortality is undoubtedly intended to give courage to others who are also hurt and wounded by life..." ~ Jeffrey R. Holland

just so you know...

I now have a missionary blog. It's mostly for when I on my mission... my family will post pictures and letters I write there, and there will also be information for writing me if you so please (and please do!). But I digress... right now I'm blogging about how I'm putting together my missionary wardrobe, and all the things I've learned in that area... I'm definitely learning.

So, stop by "An Indiana Adventure" if you so wish!

at last...

well, it's been awhile since I've had time to do a wordy wednesday... so to make up for it, here's several new words that I've discovered. I don'tknow why we don't use all of the fantastic words of our language more often!

paseo
[pah-sey-oh]
a slow, idle, or leisurely walk or stroll

bodacious
[boh-dey-shuhs]
thorough; blatant; unmistakable

duende
[doo-en-dey]
The ability to attract others through personal magnetism & charm

cormorant
[kawr-mer-uhnt]
a gluttonous or greedy person

diatribe
[dahy-uh-trahyb]
a bitter verbal attack

chimerical
/kɪˈmɛrɪkəl, -ˈmɪər-, kaɪ-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ki-mer-i-kuhl]
merely imaginary; fanciful

a BAD hair day

A couple of weeks ago a friend with slightly curly hair told me that I should try using a hair diffuser. So yesterday we were in town, and we saw one! Mom decided that she would buy it and we both would give it a try. So this morning I took a shower and after drying my hair off a little, I started to give the diffuser a try. WELL... let's just say that by the time I was done my hair looked worse that the above monkey. About 10x worse! I came out of the bathroom and mom said "wow" and Matthew was terribly shocked. My hair wasn't just curly crazy, it was frizzy out of control curly! There was only one way that I could quickly do it and stop looking like a PORCUPINE... I didn't think that it looked all too swell, but at least it wasn't crazy. Anyway, I've had so many people tell me that they liked my hair today! Weird... Um, there's no telling what the weather of Indiana will do to my hair... any ideas??

apron giveaway

Cheri over at A JOYFUL HANDMAIDEN is having a give-away for this adorable "Gracie" apron that she made. I've been following her blog for quite awhile, and I'm just amazed by her sewing skills. Over at our house she's known as the "AMAZING SEAMSTRESS". I have one of her "Jinnie" aprons, and I just love it! Anyway, if you want to enter her giveaway stop by her blog... the winner will be chosen Friday afternoon... and I hope it's me!!!

Last week for movie night, we watched a movie I've been wanting to watch for a VERY long time. While I wouldn't describe it as charming, really funny, or even as a very good family movie, I would recommend it to anyone who is able to deal with some rather disturbing information.

EXPELLED: NO INTELLIGENCE ALLOWED is a documentary about evolution... how it came to be excepted and taught in schools, how much of an effect it has had on the world and our morals and how impossible evolution actually is. My favorite part of the whole movie is when Ben Stein asks a scientist how exactly everything started if there was no creator, and the man answers "well, one idea is that it started on the backs of crystals." Ben asks him a couple of other questions and he answers (with an English accent) "I ALREADY told you, it was on the backs of crystals!" Anyway, you would have to watch it to see how really funny it is!!

If you want to read more about this thought provoking movie go here. We watched it on Netflixs Instant Play, and so can you if you have Netflixs!! :)

empty me

I came across this song a couple of weeks ago, and it really touched me. Pardon the rock type music, I usually don't listen that kind of music, but I love the message of this song. Only when we are emptied of the useless things of the world can we really be filled with God and learn to truly love holiness!!!

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you. So, I surrender all!

whew...

what a busy week, but a good one too! So much has happened since I got my call... I've pretty much been busy every moment!!

School is almost over for this semester, and that's hard to believe! The past two weeks I've had a test (or 2) in pretty much every class, and I can feel the momentum building towards finals. There really aren't enough hours in a day to get all my studying, teaching and practicing done. Today in piano lessons my teacher actually told me that I did a good job, something he's never done! For him to say "that was 100% better" and "you'll have to play this for people, you're great at it!" just about knocked me over!!

Oh, and yesterday relief flooded over me as I finally sold my 2 angora rabbits. I put an add online Saturday evening, and Sunday I had two people call me! I took down the price quite a bit, but it's so good to know that they are in good hands... much better hands than mine! Just before their new owner came to pick them up I spent a good hour cleaning them up, talk about DIS-GUS-TING! I think the male rabbit (Knightly) lost about 5 pounds after I cut off all the matted, poopy, wet hair. EEWW! Anyway, I'll spare you the details.

I also had a fabulous birthday and turned 21! I'm officially legal now. I've never had this happen before on a birthday, but I definitely feel older, in fact, I feel ANCIENT!! For my birthday I just got money so I could buy the things I need for my mission, and that certainly is a LOT! I have to have 2-3 suit coats, and I just about died when I looked them up online. There is no way that I'm going to pay $200 for each one! SO, I went to the local thrift store and the Wal-Mart and found two... both in superb condition and together for less than $20! Heavenly Father is EXTREMELY good to those that seek to do His will! Even though life is full to the brim and super busy, I just love being alive!!!

LIFE IS GOOD!!!

it came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am...

anxiously waiting for a large envelope that will change my life forever. Only two more days of waiting, but I'm not sure that I can stand it! I've had the craziest most vivid dreams and I manage to wake up with 7 hours of sleep, but not rested. I can't wait for wednesday!!

Today we had the amazing opportunity to go to the Draper Temple Open House.The temple has several floors, and it was amazing to see the light get brighter and brighter as you went up. Not only the light, but the decorations and everything, including the feeling! It was gorgeous!!! It was so beautiful, and I can't wait until I'm old enough to go inside!!!!! I'm so glad that I got to go and see the inside of such a beautiful temple, it was such a precious experience!

(an actual picture of Gene Stratton-Porter's LIMBERLOST)

yesterday a cold hit me fast. I was having a really hard time breathing and so I was sent to bed by my mother with some homeopathic medicine, some peppermint oil and lots of water. I haven't been able to read a book in a long time, so I enjoyed myself immensely! I read all 450 pages of "A Girl of the Limberlost" in one afternoon. I'd never read it before, and I couldn't put it down! I've read several other books by Gene Stratton-Porter, and loved them so much I've read them each 2-3 times. But I think that this one is now my favorite!!

I was so inspired by Elnora's courage to face difficult things, her perseverance, her faithfulness to people even when they hurt her, and her ability to pick herself up when she fell. I love books that make you feel like getting up and doing something marvelous to change the world. This book certainly made me feel that way!!!! When one of my sisters saw my book she said "wow that has a lot of dog-tails!" (i believe she meant dog eared pages :) Here are a few of my most favorite quotes:

"I believe the best way to get an answer to prayer is to work for it"

"Remember this - what you are lies with you. If you are lazy, and accept your lot, you may live in it. If you are willing to work, you can write your name anywhere you choose, among the only ones who live beyond the grave in this world, the people who write books that help, make exquisite music, carve statues, paint pictures and work for others."

"The world is full of happy people, but no one ever hears of them. You must fight and make a scandal to get into the papers. No one knows about all the happy people. I am happy myself, and look how perfectly inconspicuous I am!"

"To me it seems the only pleasure in this world worth having is the joy we derive from living for those we love, and those we help"

just when I thought...

that spring was around the corner, THIS got dumped on us!!


I haven't even worn a coat for the
last couple of days it's been so warm!
Oh, well... someday spring will come!!

today I didn't have to teach piano, so I was watching T.V. with my little brother and I just fell in love with this song... don't ask me why, maybe it has something to do with all the neat words at the end. Anyhow, it has a catchy tune and I really like the ending. Today they taught the word "accomplices (an associate in wrongdoing, especially one who aids or abets another in a criminal act, either as a principal or an accessory.)" and it fit rather nicely in a conversation I had with a sister today. Perfect timing!! At the end of this post (after the words to the song) there is a list of words that Martha says, I didn't write up all of them since a lot of them are common, but the other ones aren't, and I think they are pretty cool!!!

Hear her speak! Martha speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks and...
"Communicates, enumerates, elucidates, exaggerates, indicates, and explicates,
bloviates, and overstates and (pant, pant, pant) hyperventilates!"

ENUMERATES - To count off or name one by one; list
ELUCIDATES - To make clear or plain, by explanation; clarify
EXPLICATES - To make clear the meaning of; explain
BLOVIATES - To discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner

dancing

I LOVE TO DANCE!

Last semester I had the privilege of taking a ballroom dance class. We learned the fox-trot, waltz, tango, cha-cha, swing, and polka. There is something so wonderful about dancing. When I dance I forget my troubles and when I'm done I have a much lighter heart! One day I was having a terrible day, and I got on someone's blog and some music came on. It just happened to be a song that I had danced to in class, and I couldn't resist dancing! My mom also loves to dance and so I taught her the tango and we had a rousing dance around the house. I happened to come across several of these quotes about dancing awhile ago, and I enjoyed them so much I thought I'd post them for ya all! ENJOY!

...in 1959, a national news magazine described the LDS Church as the "dancingest denomination"

(all quotes are by President Brigham Young)
"I want you to sing and dance and forget your troubles... Let's have some music and all of you dance"

"I want it distinctly understood, that fiddling and dancing are no part of our worship. 'The question may be asked, What are they for, then? I answer, that my body may keep pace with my mind. My mind labors like a man logging, all the time; and this is the reason why I am fond of these pastimes—they give me a privilege to throw everything off, and shake myself, that my body may exercise, and my mind rest."

There is no music in hell, for all good music belongs to heaven. Sweet harmonious sounds give exquisite joy to human beings capable of appreciating music. I delight in hearing harmonious tones made by the human voice, by musical instruments, and by both combined. Every sweet musical sound that can be made belongs to the Saints and is for the Saints. Every flower, shrub and tree to beautify, and to gratify the taste and smell, and every sensation that gives to man joy and felicity are for the Saints who receive them from the Most High.

If you wish to dance, dance; and you are just as much prepared for a prayer meeting after dancing as ever you were, if you are Saints.

serve, smile, learn and do

ofttimes when I don't feel like I can tell people things in person, I write them down. When I was about 17 I wrote a story for my mom to explain how I was feeling... it's kind of weird so I won't post it here, but in it I wrote 4 things that I needed to do to help resolve my feelings of despair and being totally overwhelmed with everything!

SERVE until you feel like dropping
SMILE when you feel like crying
LEARN something when your brain feels groggy
DO something when you feel like stopping

SERVE, SMILE, LEARN, and DO
are such great things to keep in mind as we go
throughout the day, week, months and years!!

a wordy week

the other day I was helping my mom with something and she said "what word would you use to describe that?" to which I responded... "sticktoitive". She didn't think it was a word, but it certainly is!

STICKTOITIVE
tenaciously resolute; persevering

Isn't that the coolest word? I would love to be described as a sticktoitive person...

about a week ago a word accidentally slipped out, and I'm pretty sure that it's not a word, but it SHOULD be..."OWNSOME" I actually googled it and came up with a german word "mutterseelenallein" which translates to be "on one's ownsome" so it must be a sort of word!

I also accidentally said "OWNESS" as well... and well, it's not exactly a word, but another sort of word. But I came up with some interesting history about that word. "In Latin onus means “burden.” In English it came to mean “responsibility”: “the onus is on the defense attorney to convince the jury of the defendant’s innocence.” It is often used to mean “blame”: “he bears the onus of having lost the key to the vacation house.” People sometimes mishear this word and turn in into "owness." This form is also used by some to refer to the opposite of otherness, but that would be "ownness," with two N's."

AREN'T WORDS JUST SO MUCH FUN? I JUST WONDER WHY WE DON'T
USE SOME OF THESE WONDERFUL WORDS MORE OFTEN!!!!

another word

lets hope that you never have this...

CONSTERNATION
a sudden dread or a state of paralyzing dismay

but if you do, remember that faith
can dispel all doubt, dread and fear!!!

doesn't doing laundry...

JUST MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?!

On Saturday I was folding some sheets, and I said the above to my mom... "doesn't folding laundry just make you happy?" Apparently she didn't agree with me, and she told me that I should post it on my blog... so here you go!!

I just love doing laundry, I know... I'm weird, but I just love doing it! In fact, that's pretty much all I did on Saturday and when one of my sisters brought up her HUGE pile of dirty clothes, I got giddy. ;) I love pretty much everything about laundry, but here are just a few of the things that I love most.

1) I love seeing how much I can stuff in the washer
2) I love pouring in the laundry soap and vinegar
3) I love taking clean smelling clothes out of the washer
4) I love cleaning the lint tray
5) I love putting in homemade dryer sheets (they smell mmm-good!)
6) I love taking fluffy clean clothes out of the dryer
7) I love shaking out warm clothes and folding them up
8) I love folding socks... they're my favorite!
9) I love seeing huge piles of dirty laundry disappear
10) I love seeing empty laundry baskets.

when I'm old and gray

True love lasts forever.

It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us... when Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment to “love one another; as I have loved you,” He gave to them the grand key to happiness in this life and glory in the next. Love is the greatest of all the commandments—all others hang upon it. It is our focus as followers of the living Christ. It is the one trait that, if developed, will most improve our lives."

- Joseph B. Wirthlin

the prayer

A couple of years ago (you know, pretty much everything I talk about happened a "couple of years ago", if you know our family's story, those years were incredible growing experiences!!) I came across an article that changed my life... it was an incredible love story that started at birth. A couple had a little girl, and when she was born, they decided to start praying for her future husband, even though it would be about 23 years before they would ever meet him. When their daughter was old enough to understand, they told her that somewhere in the world there was someone that would someday be her husband, and they encouraged her to start praying for him, which she did. The rest of the story is so touching and amazing, and sometime I'll have to post it for 'ya!

When I read that story, it hit a chord with me. I realized that somewhere out in the world there was someone who I had never met. But someday our paths would cross, and meanwhile, life would happen, and I wanted the opportunity to pray for this amazing man. Since I was about 15, I started praying for my future husband every day. I think I've only ever missed once or twice, and I have learned so much through praying for someone I don't know. Sometimes I felt like I should pray for him to have the needed strength to endure hardship. Sometimes I prayed that he would have the additional help he needed in all the things he was doing. Sometimes I prayed that he would be able to grow up to be the godly man that he needed to be to fulfill his mission in life. Sometimes I would pray that he would be blessed with extra protection. And sometimes I simply prayed that he would know that somewhere in the world there was a young girl that was praying for him. But the thing that mattered most was that I PRAYED, I prayed hard, and I prayed everyday.

A couple of days ago my sister came across this very touching story, and it touched me so much, especially since I've been doing the very same thing, and I hope for the same happy ending.

"I was recently at a church meeting where a leader spoke to the young women of our Stake. She told us that when she was little she dreamed constantly of the man she would marry. She played little games like, "Whoever wears a red shirt tomorrow is the one", or "If the car makes it through the next stop light, I already know him." Then one day her young women's leader suggested that instead of dreaming of who he would be, the girls should pray for their future husbands. She said that after that, she never missed a night. She would pray that he would be able to live up to the standards she wanted. She prayed that he would be strong enough to make good decisions in his life. Because she was praying for his strength, it made her want to be stronger as well. When she met that man she had been praying for, they fell for each other right away. On the third date, after all of the "get to know you" had been established and things got a little deeper, he told her that every time he had been faced with temptation in his life, he felt he had been blessed with a little extra help in making the right decisions. She couldn't believe it."

I have absolutely no idea who I am going to marry, only God knows that... but what I DO know is that through praying for someone I've never met, I have developed a deep love for whoever that someone is, far more than I ever thought was possible to have for someone you've never met. I would encourage all of you single girls out there to pray for your future husbands, wouldn't that be so neat to have your future husband tell you that he often felt a little extra help... and that help was you?

while I'm waiting

This song is from my new favorite movie, FIREPROOF.
It says so many things that I would say about waiting,
but songs usually say things better than simple prose. ENJOY!

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

the dream

I had a dream...
Most of the dreams I've had don't stick with me very long, but a couple of years ago I had a dream that I think of often. I call it THE THREE LEVELS

1st level - Everything that I did with this boy was in secret. I don't think that my family even knew him! We went running through a restaurant and then secretly went up a canyon to an ancient school house. He wanted us to pick some bricks out of the wall, which we did... and the school collapsed! I don't think anyone knew we did it, and he certainly wasn't going to tell anyone. The only feeling I got from this boy was one of infatuation... nothing deeper, just physical attraction.

2nd level - The second part was even weirder than the first. Luckily this boy was a decent fellow, in fact he was someone I sort of recognized from riding the bus. We were in a supermarket having a race with these weird carts that flew through the air. It was a huge competition and I believe that I won. The feeling that I got from this young man was one of being totally superior to him. He didn't even talk to me, he just gazed at me. There was no companionship, nor even friendship. Just the feeling of being totally superior.

3rd level - The third level is one that I think of often and use as a sounding board for many things in life. There wasn't much to see in this level, just a simple picture that is burned in my memory. All I saw was a young man and myself standing in a garden. I didn't see his face, but I noticed two things... he had brown hair and was about a head taller than me (so about 5-7 inches taller than me). He was holding my hand and I think proposing... and I got a complete feeling of being CHERISHED!!!!!!! I want the feeling of being equal with the person I marry. And I also want to be filled with the desire to improve and become the best wife for him that I can. To be inspired to be better, just by being around him!!

As strange as that dream sounds,
it has given me so much hope
and so much to think about!!
It has made me think so much of how I long
to be with that young man in the garden,
being cherished and loved by someone
that God has chosen for me!!

my perfect plans

ever since I was little, one of my greatest dreams was to have a family of my own. In fact, when I was about 10 or so, my plan was to have 56 children... one for each letter of the alphabet, both a boy and a girl. when I was in high school, I was totally certain that when I graduated prince charming would show up on my doorstep, sweep me off my feet, and by the time I was 23 or so I would have 2-3 adorable children, a perfect marriage, a charming house, and I would be perfectly content.

If anyone would have told me that I would be 20 7/8 years old, still single and living at home, I most likely wouldn't have believed you... but here I am! Heavenly Father had (and still does have) SO much work that needed to be done on me, and frankly I am not quite sure that I would've been ready to get married at 17.

Throughout the years, I have grown so much in my desire and dreams for my future. In my patriarchal blessing there is a tiny little paragraph about my future family, and I have just poured over it trying to understand every little word. That little paragraph has worked wonders in my life. One little part of it talks about a desiring a companion... that little word has changed my life!!

Over the years I have come to realize that I didn't desire a companion... I just wanted a family and all the fixings... babies, laundry, cooking, etc., but a husband didn't matter that much. But as I have grown older (and hopefully wiser!) I have come to realize that the one thing that I want more than anything (except eternal life) is a companion! I want someone who is my very best friend and I his! As I looked back and wondered why in the world I had such a strange perspective, I came to realize that in all the couples in my life, as great as their marriages were... they weren't necessarily companions and best friends. Through the past 2 years I have met some wonderful ladies whose husbands are their very best friends. One couple in particular is so cute to watch... they so obviously love each other, and I love spending time at their home!

as I look back over the years, I am beyond grateful that Heavenly Father didn't answer my prayers for my perfect plan to come to pass. He has a perfect plan for me, and it is beyond anything I could ever dream up! The past two years have been incredible years for me... and what if God had answered my prayers?? I would have been lacking a huge part of who I have become!!

I am so thankful for a God who answers prayers,
but also sees fit to not answer sometimes!!

happy valentine's

well, I just did a little reading about how valentine's came to be... what an interesting history (see this page on wikipedia)! One part that struck my funny bone was when they said that in the 19th century handwritten cards were replaced by mass produced ones. Now, that isn't funny, in fact, it's quite sad, but if you have ever seen the movie "Cranford" you will recall the following scene....

the spinster ladies of the town have gathered around the local general store to see the latest rage in England... PRINTED VALENTINE'S!! The lady who is in charge of the town (well, at least she thinks she is :) says, what is the world coming to if our valentines are being PRINTED?! Those printed valentines create quite the stir in the town as I recall... it must just be best to hand write them from now on!

I actually don't have a valentine (by definition - a sweetheart) that I know by name, but I do have one somewhere in the world who I love very much, even though I don't know exactly who he is!! As those of you who followed my last blog know, I haven't ever had a boyfriend, I haven't ever held hands with a boy, and I certainly haven't ever kissed anyone! Life has turned out a lot differently then I ever expected, but it has been so good! This week I'm going to be posting some things for my valentine... my wonderful future husband (though I don't exactly know who he is!!)! I'll also be posting some things that have helped me immensely in learning to wait patiently!

baby makes 18!!!

I was mixing up a treat for my little brother's birthday party tonight and for some random reason I was thinking about the DUGGAR family. If you haven't read about this amazing family, you should order their newest book... 20 and counting!!
I had the opportunity to read it over Christmas break... and boy-oh-boy... what an amazing book!! It's full of good tips that they've learned, and their incredible life story (they are considered America's largest family!). Well, I just remembered today that Michelle was pregnant with #18, but I hadn't heard about the birth, so I looked it up on their website... and on December 18th "The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, arrived at 38 weeks gestation by Caesarean section weighing 7 pounds, 3 ounces and measuring 20 inches long." Congrats to the Duggar family!! As I have read about this amazing family over the years, I've read many negative comments concerning their family size, but I think that they are absolutely amazing to be doing what they are doing! They haven't limited their family size, and have seen many miracles in doing what the Lord asked!!

wordy wednesday

sorry this has been so long in coming... I just need to take the few seconds it takes to do this, but I don't!! I'll try my hardest to be better!! Anyway, here is today's word... a new one, but definitely one that I'll use!!

ERSTWHILE
former, formerly, in the past, at a former time

a stupendous saturday

On Saturday we had some friends over for sledding, games, milking goats, and a delicious dinner! They are SO much fun to be around and even though I've only been with them 4 times, I think they are one of the "bestest" families around! They have 8 wonderful children, and 2 fabulous parents and the more I get to know them, the more I like them!

Milking - the people in the back were standing around a heater to stay warm!

Lindsay (in pink) milking. She kept milking and milking and actually milked 2 goats!

Loren milking for the first time

Some of the girls sledding, don't they look warm??

Finally at the bottom of the HUGE hill!

It's kind of a funny story how we actually met them... I met their second oldest son (Loren) at school and in the process of becoming good friends with him, I asked if he and his family wanted to come over to play games. Well... to make a long story short, this is the third time we've been together as families since December! I can't believe that we have actually done that because we usually only do it once and then just talk about it, but that's not the case with this family! We all have such a good time together and get along remarkably well.

Loren actually leaves for a mission TOMORROW! I'm so glad I got to meet him, and I'm sure that he will be an amazing missionary and do a wonderful work for the Lord!!

in the hands of the archer...

"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and he stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says - "I cannot stand anymore." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands."

~ Oswald Chambers

I found that quote about two summers ago when life was harder than I ever could have imagined it would be. It blessed me so much knowing that I was an arrow in the Lord's hands and the reason I was hurting so much was only because I have an amazing Father who loves me more than I could ever imagine, and He was just making me like Him. Since the worse day ever last week, life has been so much better! SO much better! It's still hard, but I am trying to make the best of life! My life changing decision (more to come on this later) has really changed my life and I have been super scatter brained, but that's okay since it makes life interesting! The biggest thing I'm having a struggle with right now is my health... I have stomach ulcers, and we believe they might be bleeding and they hurt SO bad! I didn't know that a stomach could hurt so bad!

What has been so fascinating to me the past couple of months is to look back and see how absolutely amazing God's plan for my life is! Even through the times that hurt more than I thought I could stand... I grew so much and as I look back, I KNOW that I needed to go through that! One of the things that has blessed me more than anything else is to look for the silver lining to every cloud! Even in having ulcers I managed to find something! You can always find the silver lining... no matter how dark the storm!!

whew... what a day!

This was one of those days that makes me grateful to know that all trials are to refine and make me over in God's image. I have been learning through several really hard lessons that it is not physically possible for me to do everything! I bit off way more than I could ever hope to chew this semester... and I have been feeling overwhelmed, and so discouraged! I am usually a happy, pleasant person, but I have been bawling my eyes out for the past week and feeling so depressed!

Today was just about the worst day ever! I woke up late, had to do a huge assignment, couldn't figure out how to do half the problems, was 15 minutes late for class, couldn't figure out the melodies to write in aural skills, had my first piano lesson this semester with my really strange teacher who made me feel like I couldn't play the piano at all, just about froze to death outside, had to carry my huge guitar around all day, and felt like bursting into tears all day long! I came home and had about 1/2 hour before I had to teach piano and I just burst into tears telling my mom everything that was going wrong in my life (thanks for listening mom :). I felt so much better after and we decided how I could lighten my load a little so I didn't feel so totally overloaded.

Through this I learned several important lessons...
1) you have to PUT GOD FIRST! When the first thing I do in the morning is pray and read my scriptures, my day goes a whole lot better!

2) I don't have to be the best at everything, or anything for that matter! I just need to be MY BEST... something totally different than being THE best.

3) carefully ANALYZE your schedule and and make sure it is feasible (16 credits, 16 piano students and 3 different instruments along with practicing isn't the most well thought out plan! ;)

4) when you are totally overwhelmed... pray to God for help and peace, and then GO AND DO something for someone else! Spending an afternoon teaching kids how to make music really helped me forget about my petty trials and think about someone else for a moment! Service is really the best medicine ever!

new year's resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Sorry I'm posting these late... I started school last week and I have one humdinger of a schedule!! I also made a huge life changing decision that has made me have a really hard week! Anyway, here are my new year's resolutions for 2009! I usually set resolutions, but I haven't always been so good at keeping them! I'm doing a lot of praying and working on these, and I hope that I can see improvement over the year! I'll be posting a little about each resolution, why I decided on a particular resolution, and a little bit about what I'm learning, or seeing happening in myself.

2009 New Year's Resolutions

* be cheerful and pleasant all the time. Smile when I don't feel like it.
* stop procrastinating, made realistic to-do lists. Use time wisely.
* be grateful. write daily in my Gratitude Journal and see the Lord's hand in everything!
* no criticizing others or their actions.
* learn to LOVE unconditionally.
* go to bed at 9-10 and wake up at 5.
* do morning routine (exercise, scripture study, room check, etc.)
* don't take long in the bathroom! (15 min. in morning, 5-10 min. at night)
* don't pick at my lips or sores (gross I know, but it's a nervous habit!)
* don't complain! Learn to be happy NO MATTER WHAT!
* get rid of angry heart.
* read entire standard works (bible, triple combination)
* be sure to pray at least twice a day.
* read scriptures and write in journal everyday!

TODAY

today I did about 10,000 batches of laundry! I didn't know it was possible to do that many in one day! All my clothes (and everyone else's) are clean, except the ones we wore today! WOO-HOO!

today I milked both morning and night, and about froze both times! I thought that I was going to die from being frozen to death (not really, but almost)!

today I did most of my mending! I mended 3 skirts, 1 jumper, 1 sweater and 1 shirt (you can tell what I wear most of the time!). Oh boy, it feels so good to have that done!

today I actually made my bed! WHOOP-DE-DO!

today my little brother made me laugh when he said (in response to me saying "stir those eggs with slow motions) "but mom says that I can stir with FAST EMOTIONS!!" HA HA, don't you love kids!?

today I listened to the music from "A BRAND NEW YEAR" pretty much all day! Boy do I love that music!! (you can listen to it too if you go to abrandnewyear.lds.org :)

today was a good day to be alive!!

cleaning out my closet

Now this is super embarrassing, but since this is something I've been doing during the Holiday break I decided to post it (plus the difference is amazing!). Now I'm not a slob, I'm usually extremely neat and tidy, but I really didn't have time to do much of anything during this last semester, including keeping my room very clean! All I did in my room was sleep because I was so busy with school, church, teaching piano, etc.

I hate living in a mess, so the first thing that I did when school was out was get to cleaning my room! I finally finished last night, and one of my new year's resolutions is to ALWAYS PUT THINGS WHERE THEY BELONG!!

Here's the BEFORE picture, it's disgusting, just to warn you! I got rid of so much, why keep it if I never use it!?


Here is the after picture, I can't believe that I lived with my closet such a mess for so long! BUT from now on, it's going to stay exceptionally clean!